Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
