Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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