you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
