i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
