She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize