I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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