When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize