how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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