it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
