Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my sisters under your porch take her home
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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