it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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