The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dick very happy bro
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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