did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
