so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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