You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
