Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
