We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
