If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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