I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
