there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
