If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
