There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
