I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
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