I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
