she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
