he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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