Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
birth control should be required to get into college
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
