My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize