Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
it's like heaven, but drunker
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
