You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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