no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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