it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Randomize
