We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
