ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
