I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
