we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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