And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
