she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize