there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
