Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
