Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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