Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
