Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
