This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
