Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
