how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
