i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize