I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
