you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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