she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize