i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
