yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
