I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
