you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You're a waste of cheezeits
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
