I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
