I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
