i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She even gives head with a lisp.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
