Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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