Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
